Recovery From Ego Death
Years ago, I embarked on a perilous journey into the depths of my own mind, using psychedelics as a tool of
exploration. I was seeking answers, insights, and truths that lay hidden deep within. And I found them - but
at a great cost.
My mind was not ready for the intensity and the power of what I experienced, and I was plunged into a mental breakdown that nearly destroyed me. But I did not give up. I emerged from the darkness and began the long journey of rebuilding myself.
And now, I stand before you, reborn and transformed. I have learned so much about myself, about relationships, about identity, and about communication.
āØ ADHD-friendly reading
š¼ Hand-drawn illustrations
š§āšØ Books are creatively signed
Signed book + random poster $50
Signed book $30
Ebook (PDF/EPUB) $20
Want it printed closer to home? Amazon links.
Vidar Hesselstad
Student at Hyper Island
Waow Tomo, I was totally blown away by your book, finished reading the whole thing in one go!
Really impressed. You are open and manage to transform "vulnerability" into strength and growth. Your way of analyzing and reflecting on your journey, the events and the people in your life is incredibly interesting and inspiring. I will take with me many of the approaches, especially those around self-esteem and identity, something I related a lot to myself.
Want to thank you again, it was a real pleasure to read it and it will be fun to see what you come up with in the future!
Mel
It felt so nourishing to read from someone you know ! It was like reading Tomo's secret journal but with powerful anecdotes and lines you can learn from. Loved the way he writes, and wishing to read more from him and his experiences. Really inspiring!
Maria Serkova
AI Business consultant
Loved your book, Tomo, so honest and honestly insightful. Raw. You told stories that seekers relate to, anyway I do, so reading your book made me feel less lonely and freaky. I loved how the book lacks bullshit. However, itās rich with good advice, even though thereās technically none written. I would give your book to any seeker in their 20s ā not to give them shortcuts to learning and integrating, but to help them feel that even though to embrace being an explorer demands a great deal of courage, you will come back with things of amazing value to others, if youāre daring and truthful. Just like this book.
Klara
Digital Creative student at Hyper Island
Thank you Tomoā¤ļø I have read your book, it touched me. I feel grateful to hear about your experiences and thoughts. Need to let it settle a bit too hahah! And your message you wrote to me was very nice! You are a very genuine person and it shines through in your textā¤ļø I think your reflections put into words a lot of what I myself have been thinking about. It's very well-written, it's nuanced and exciting to read. Thank you.
Anonymous
I loved this book because it helped me realize important things and that not everything is as perfect as it may seem sometimes, as described in your book. I highly recommend buying this book! One of the best books I have read! š§ šŖš»
Anonymous
Great, engaging, interesting to read! You write well š
Helena Myrman Farquharson
My mother
Just read out your š. I like it a lot, itās nice that there are glimpses of humor despite the seriousness. It is important, necessary and keeps life going in the middle of shit. Hugs!
Alec Farquharson
My father
Hi Thomas (or should I say Tomo). I just read your book. Itās beautiful and so are you. I thought about picking it apart and mentioning things that you could have done differently. Then I realised thatās typical of me (my own personal flavour of dogma) and itās not needed. Your writing is honest, unflowery and unpretentious. I really enjoyed every word. I learned some insightful lessons (old dog - new tricks) and it makes me so proud to be your dad. Also your illustrations are so beautiful. I use the word illustration in its real sense as they help describe the messages in the text very well. Lastly, you should write and illustrate more! You have a talent of cutting to the chase and expressing your feelings in a brutality honest way. Use it! I think for those that read your book, most will be able to relate to it. Even boring old people like me that donāt use drugs. Who perhaps donāt explore the inner self as much as I should and where my ego is still alive and kicking. Everyone can get something from your book so you are helping people which I know is one of the reasons you wrote it. (But not the only one I suspect ). Iām very glad that you wrote it. It helps me understand and appreciate more the beauty and the natural life force that you have inside of you. Iām so glad that you have learned and continue to learn how to harness this natural force that resides in us all and turn your back on negative man made constructs that imprison most of us to some degree or other. You are an inspiration to us all. Donāt let all this go to your head though :) when you fly to the skies, keep your feet on the ground. (Thatās a half joke) Love Pappa š
Monique H
Sound healer
I enjoyed your book. It was an easy read and it flowed nicely. I just wished you spoke more about your recovery more than the "trips". Youāre a good writer. I hope you can expand on your recovery and the truths you discovered. Good luck. Thank you. Monique
Anonymous
Executive Secretary
Thomasā book is a beautiful insight into scattered minds and broken ego. Through his own lifeās narrative, which he so honestly and eloquently projects on the pages, he brings the reader closer to what it means to ādie insideā and what it takes to resurrect. The reader will also be taken on side journeys where important questions on love, sex, drugs, bodily autonomy, friendship, self-awareness and acceptance will be posed (and answered). I personally especially liked the last part of āunorganized and uncensored mind chatterā which was my experience with psychedelics as well. You just feel youāve been given a glimpse of the āElusive Truthā and you need to note it down else you risk losing it forever. Thomas made it last and now invites readers to make their own sense of it. Or not.
Ida E
AI Business student at Hyper Island
I had such a hard time letting go of the book once I started reading it. I even had dreams about it. Iām so impressed by you. Youāre truly inspiring and so thoughtful and I canāt wait to see what the future holds for you. Iām definitely re-reading it. Thank you for sharing your story!
Chris A
Dear Tomo, just wanted to say that "Recovery from ego death" was such a satisfying read. I loved the writing style, and the clarity and openness with which you wrote it. Psychedelics are such potent things and provide such rich insights - Iāve never done huge doses but they really saved my life (ayahuasca mostly). I hope you continue to write and explore this weird thing called life in satisfying ways. Take care, Chris
Alicia Ljungman
Student at Hyper Island
Soooo.. started re-reading your book from scratch cuz I really wanted to take it in//appreciate it from start to end. And I finished it yesterday (I read now again, every night before I sleep!) I LOVE it!!!! Some really really good insights and nice words, much appreciated. Awesome drawings as well love the style!!! Looking forward for your next book project (no rush though)ššš
Alma
Actress
Started reading your book yesterday and WOW how good it is! Really like your language, so funny and inventive, and am so impressed by the drawings, and the content too of course! Feels like reading a biography of a wise and influential multitasking celebrity. Very inspiring! So thanks! ā¤ļøšāØ
Kestrel
Mentioned in the book
Just finished! I deeply enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly š I am so grateful to know you and have shared such magical moments in your presence. Thank you for opening up your heart to me š
Anonymous
I finished the book ā¤ļø I read it with your voice haha. I really loved it!!!! You have a lot of humor when u write and such an ease to be vulnerable. Your drawings are 10/10, I feel like you should try and also do comics, youād be amazing. I feel like I know you a bit more, but also I feel that some of the things about you I already knew but I didnāt know how much, for example, Iāve noticed since I met you that you are a caretaker and sooooooo empathetic. I felt a bit pissed at the beginning with the whole Luna situation with how willing you were to put your needs last for somebody else. I liked your book I started reading it today and finished reading it just now, couldnāt stop reading š«¶
Anonymous
Really liked your book, both text and pictures. Appreciate the personal comment to me āļø Although it tells about the darkness in your life, it feels like a story about optimism and freedom. You are a skilled storyteller, well done!
Sunhwi Lee
AI Business student at Hyper Island
Finished your book. Many thoughts and feelings still linger. I do want to say that when I realized why you made the appreciation to your sister and her kids, even though itās a complete understatement to say that my heart was filled with warmth. Very happy for you, very proud of you. I feel like I understand more about who you are and sincerely hope that I can be a better friend. I came to realize that I wish I can express my story in any possible way in the future. I was immensely inspired.
Johanna
ur such an inspiring soul and iām so glad i got ur book. couldnāt help but to binge read it lmao :ā-) keep doing ur thang (vegan) chicken wang
Lamarr
Musician & student at Hyper Island
Completed. Or not. Iām going to read it again. And again if I need. When I see Tomo I have to thank him for this gem of a book. The level of honesty with Self, I think I connected to that the most. Tomoās story reminded me of my own experiences and thought processes in some areas. He brought something back that can be used to help others. Maybe to feel more connected than we may or may not be.
Anonymous
Student at Hyper Island
I finished your book! Loved it. Felt personal and at the same time almost fictional. I enjoy reading about peopleās adventures that are different from my own experiences of being a young adult. Also really liked your illustrations š
Renato Moretti
AI Business student at Hyper Island
Hi Tomo,
thereās something in your book that makes me feel like I want to know more. Itās not because I really need to due to some lack of clearness, but because your words are free from judgement, resentment, self pity. I could be wrong, but I can imagine how long and deep must have been the process of stripping those words of their heavy envelope to allow us to read about you with no fear. What can I say? Thank you.
Linda
Student at Hyper Island
Hi Tomo! Saw your post about your book at a very timely moment. Bought and just finished reading it! You write incredibly beautifully, thank you for sharing your story and your talent! I myself went through what I thought was a derealization almost 2 years ago. Guess maybe it was a psychosis, much much milder than yours, but it still occasionally comes knocking and says hello. It was nice to recognize myself in certain pieces and it gave me peace and a spark āØ Thanks! Kind regards Linda
Dave Elmiger
Psychology student & musician
I read your book last night! Absolutely loved it, I was hooked and had to finish it in one sitting because it was so well written :D I loved your writing style and just the authenticity in general and just how unfiltered it feels. Itās so personal man. You went through so much shit. Glad you came out again on the other side. Itās so rare to have people open up and show themselves to the world like you do. So inspiring man. What an interesting life youāre having, sounds like a crazy movie in the book haha, no joke!
Tell me what you thought š¬
Buy now
My mind was not ready for the intensity and the power of what I experienced, and I was plunged into a mental breakdown that nearly destroyed me. But I did not give up. I emerged from the darkness and began the long journey of rebuilding myself.
And now, I stand before you, reborn and transformed. I have learned so much about myself, about relationships, about identity, and about communication.
Get the book
š 96 pages in cute A5 formatāØ ADHD-friendly reading
š¼ Hand-drawn illustrations
š§āšØ Books are creatively signed
Signed book + random poster $50
Signed book $30
Ebook (PDF/EPUB) $20
Want it printed closer to home? Amazon links.
What do people think?
Vidar Hesselstad
Student at Hyper Island
Waow Tomo, I was totally blown away by your book, finished reading the whole thing in one go!
Really impressed. You are open and manage to transform "vulnerability" into strength and growth. Your way of analyzing and reflecting on your journey, the events and the people in your life is incredibly interesting and inspiring. I will take with me many of the approaches, especially those around self-esteem and identity, something I related a lot to myself.
Want to thank you again, it was a real pleasure to read it and it will be fun to see what you come up with in the future!
Mel
It felt so nourishing to read from someone you know ! It was like reading Tomo's secret journal but with powerful anecdotes and lines you can learn from. Loved the way he writes, and wishing to read more from him and his experiences. Really inspiring!
Maria Serkova
AI Business consultant
Loved your book, Tomo, so honest and honestly insightful. Raw. You told stories that seekers relate to, anyway I do, so reading your book made me feel less lonely and freaky. I loved how the book lacks bullshit. However, itās rich with good advice, even though thereās technically none written. I would give your book to any seeker in their 20s ā not to give them shortcuts to learning and integrating, but to help them feel that even though to embrace being an explorer demands a great deal of courage, you will come back with things of amazing value to others, if youāre daring and truthful. Just like this book.
Klara
Digital Creative student at Hyper Island
Thank you Tomoā¤ļø I have read your book, it touched me. I feel grateful to hear about your experiences and thoughts. Need to let it settle a bit too hahah! And your message you wrote to me was very nice! You are a very genuine person and it shines through in your textā¤ļø I think your reflections put into words a lot of what I myself have been thinking about. It's very well-written, it's nuanced and exciting to read. Thank you.
Anonymous
I loved this book because it helped me realize important things and that not everything is as perfect as it may seem sometimes, as described in your book. I highly recommend buying this book! One of the best books I have read! š§ šŖš»
Anonymous
Great, engaging, interesting to read! You write well š
Helena Myrman Farquharson
My mother
Just read out your š. I like it a lot, itās nice that there are glimpses of humor despite the seriousness. It is important, necessary and keeps life going in the middle of shit. Hugs!
Alec Farquharson
My father
Hi Thomas (or should I say Tomo). I just read your book. Itās beautiful and so are you. I thought about picking it apart and mentioning things that you could have done differently. Then I realised thatās typical of me (my own personal flavour of dogma) and itās not needed. Your writing is honest, unflowery and unpretentious. I really enjoyed every word. I learned some insightful lessons (old dog - new tricks) and it makes me so proud to be your dad. Also your illustrations are so beautiful. I use the word illustration in its real sense as they help describe the messages in the text very well. Lastly, you should write and illustrate more! You have a talent of cutting to the chase and expressing your feelings in a brutality honest way. Use it! I think for those that read your book, most will be able to relate to it. Even boring old people like me that donāt use drugs. Who perhaps donāt explore the inner self as much as I should and where my ego is still alive and kicking. Everyone can get something from your book so you are helping people which I know is one of the reasons you wrote it. (But not the only one I suspect ). Iām very glad that you wrote it. It helps me understand and appreciate more the beauty and the natural life force that you have inside of you. Iām so glad that you have learned and continue to learn how to harness this natural force that resides in us all and turn your back on negative man made constructs that imprison most of us to some degree or other. You are an inspiration to us all. Donāt let all this go to your head though :) when you fly to the skies, keep your feet on the ground. (Thatās a half joke) Love Pappa š
Monique H
Sound healer
I enjoyed your book. It was an easy read and it flowed nicely. I just wished you spoke more about your recovery more than the "trips". Youāre a good writer. I hope you can expand on your recovery and the truths you discovered. Good luck. Thank you. Monique
Anonymous
Executive Secretary
Thomasā book is a beautiful insight into scattered minds and broken ego. Through his own lifeās narrative, which he so honestly and eloquently projects on the pages, he brings the reader closer to what it means to ādie insideā and what it takes to resurrect. The reader will also be taken on side journeys where important questions on love, sex, drugs, bodily autonomy, friendship, self-awareness and acceptance will be posed (and answered). I personally especially liked the last part of āunorganized and uncensored mind chatterā which was my experience with psychedelics as well. You just feel youāve been given a glimpse of the āElusive Truthā and you need to note it down else you risk losing it forever. Thomas made it last and now invites readers to make their own sense of it. Or not.
Ida E
AI Business student at Hyper Island
I had such a hard time letting go of the book once I started reading it. I even had dreams about it. Iām so impressed by you. Youāre truly inspiring and so thoughtful and I canāt wait to see what the future holds for you. Iām definitely re-reading it. Thank you for sharing your story!
Chris A
Dear Tomo, just wanted to say that "Recovery from ego death" was such a satisfying read. I loved the writing style, and the clarity and openness with which you wrote it. Psychedelics are such potent things and provide such rich insights - Iāve never done huge doses but they really saved my life (ayahuasca mostly). I hope you continue to write and explore this weird thing called life in satisfying ways. Take care, Chris
Alicia Ljungman
Student at Hyper Island
Soooo.. started re-reading your book from scratch cuz I really wanted to take it in//appreciate it from start to end. And I finished it yesterday (I read now again, every night before I sleep!) I LOVE it!!!! Some really really good insights and nice words, much appreciated. Awesome drawings as well love the style!!! Looking forward for your next book project (no rush though)ššš
Alma
Actress
Started reading your book yesterday and WOW how good it is! Really like your language, so funny and inventive, and am so impressed by the drawings, and the content too of course! Feels like reading a biography of a wise and influential multitasking celebrity. Very inspiring! So thanks! ā¤ļøšāØ
Kestrel
Mentioned in the book
Just finished! I deeply enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly š I am so grateful to know you and have shared such magical moments in your presence. Thank you for opening up your heart to me š
Anonymous
I finished the book ā¤ļø I read it with your voice haha. I really loved it!!!! You have a lot of humor when u write and such an ease to be vulnerable. Your drawings are 10/10, I feel like you should try and also do comics, youād be amazing. I feel like I know you a bit more, but also I feel that some of the things about you I already knew but I didnāt know how much, for example, Iāve noticed since I met you that you are a caretaker and sooooooo empathetic. I felt a bit pissed at the beginning with the whole Luna situation with how willing you were to put your needs last for somebody else. I liked your book I started reading it today and finished reading it just now, couldnāt stop reading š«¶
Anonymous
Really liked your book, both text and pictures. Appreciate the personal comment to me āļø Although it tells about the darkness in your life, it feels like a story about optimism and freedom. You are a skilled storyteller, well done!
Sunhwi Lee
AI Business student at Hyper Island
Finished your book. Many thoughts and feelings still linger. I do want to say that when I realized why you made the appreciation to your sister and her kids, even though itās a complete understatement to say that my heart was filled with warmth. Very happy for you, very proud of you. I feel like I understand more about who you are and sincerely hope that I can be a better friend. I came to realize that I wish I can express my story in any possible way in the future. I was immensely inspired.
Johanna
ur such an inspiring soul and iām so glad i got ur book. couldnāt help but to binge read it lmao :ā-) keep doing ur thang (vegan) chicken wang
Lamarr
Musician & student at Hyper Island
Completed. Or not. Iām going to read it again. And again if I need. When I see Tomo I have to thank him for this gem of a book. The level of honesty with Self, I think I connected to that the most. Tomoās story reminded me of my own experiences and thought processes in some areas. He brought something back that can be used to help others. Maybe to feel more connected than we may or may not be.
Anonymous
Student at Hyper Island
I finished your book! Loved it. Felt personal and at the same time almost fictional. I enjoy reading about peopleās adventures that are different from my own experiences of being a young adult. Also really liked your illustrations š
Renato Moretti
AI Business student at Hyper Island
Hi Tomo,
thereās something in your book that makes me feel like I want to know more. Itās not because I really need to due to some lack of clearness, but because your words are free from judgement, resentment, self pity. I could be wrong, but I can imagine how long and deep must have been the process of stripping those words of their heavy envelope to allow us to read about you with no fear. What can I say? Thank you.
Linda
Student at Hyper Island
Hi Tomo! Saw your post about your book at a very timely moment. Bought and just finished reading it! You write incredibly beautifully, thank you for sharing your story and your talent! I myself went through what I thought was a derealization almost 2 years ago. Guess maybe it was a psychosis, much much milder than yours, but it still occasionally comes knocking and says hello. It was nice to recognize myself in certain pieces and it gave me peace and a spark āØ Thanks! Kind regards Linda
Dave Elmiger
Psychology student & musician
I read your book last night! Absolutely loved it, I was hooked and had to finish it in one sitting because it was so well written :D I loved your writing style and just the authenticity in general and just how unfiltered it feels. Itās so personal man. You went through so much shit. Glad you came out again on the other side. Itās so rare to have people open up and show themselves to the world like you do. So inspiring man. What an interesting life youāre having, sounds like a crazy movie in the book haha, no joke!
Tell me what you thought š¬
Buy now